a conversation with an inanimate object
09.05.03 • comment • trackback
Me: Hello, supplemental textbook.
Book: So we meet again, boy. It seems you were unable to avoid my purchase. I suggest you return that tattered, used copy of the main book so that you can get a fresh bundle that includes me.
Me: Or I could just buy you individually and save money by keeping my used copy, textbook. Ha! So there!
Book: Touche, pathetic undergrad! Fine, buy me without a new copy of the main book. Cough up $50! Ha!
Me: What? But you’re barely bigger than Naked, and I can get that for ten dollars!
Book: Oh naive moron, I’m a new edition! Gaze upon my shiny, freshly minted expensiveness and tremble! Your $50 shall be mine! MINE! Mwahaha!
Me: Hey, what’s your ISBN?
Book: I…I don’t know. W-why do you ask?
Me: No reason. Let me just have a look at your backside…
Book: Stop that! Put me down! Ouch!
Me: Thanks for the number. Oh look, I can get a used copy of you on Amazon for ten dollars, and that’s after shipping. I believe victory is mine, book!
Book: No! NO! It isn’t true! It’s last year’s edition! It’ll have typos and…and…other things that warranted a reprint! You NEED me, boy!
Me: I think not. Take your price tag and shove it. Good day, book!
Victory is sweet.