better dying through science
As part of my job I conduct long-term interviews with our study participants. The interview looks at a person’s current living situation, level of disability, general medical issues, etc. One of the things we’re specifically targeting is whether the person requires any sort of daily supervision.
During a recent interview, one geriatric participant told me that he was living in a specially designed elderly community. When I asked if he required any daily supervision, he replied that he did not. He added, however, that there is a button in his apartment that he must press every morning to indicate to the staff that he is still alive.
I paused.
“What happens if you forget to push the button?”
“Oh, they call and check to see if you’re forgetful or maybe dead.”
“I see,” I said. Who came up with this? I assume it’s some variation on the Lifeline system (“I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!”). Lifeline has the advantage of being sort of like a digital cowbell, and not to beat a dead meme, but we could all use more cowbell, right? There are so many other questions that begged to be asked. The very idea of a Not Dead button is just rife with unknowns and strange possibilities.
I can’t imagine incorporating it into my daily routine, this silent, unblinking reminder that I have successfully lived another day. Shower, shave, comb hair, read the paper, press the Not Dead Button. Is it located on a wall, like a light switch? This ultimate switch? Or maybe it’s been incorporated into a remote control, its single button reminiscent of a morbid iPod. What is its shape? A circle? A square? A scythe? You know, for the metaphor? What color is it? An unassuming beige, or something more pronounced, like black? Did they decide to make it resemble an eye, or was this deemed too ominous? As an amateur designer, I wonder what the process was like for the I Have Not Expired Device.
All technology evolves. New features get added to everything. First cellular phones, then digital cameras, then cameras with phones, then beautiful, alien creations. I would imagine that the next logical step for the Not Dead Button involves something proactive. Maybe if you fail to press it, it’ll just kill you for the sake of expediency. Or maybe they’ll just make it so that you can use different faceplates.
This is definitely what you’d call better dying through science.
Googling “dead button” in images, we come up with the following result from iStockPhoto:
http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/174788/2/istockphoto_174788_dead_smily_button_on_white.jpg
I rather like it.
My great-grandmother has one of those, but it’s a hanging knob that you pull. It’s located next to the toilet so she remembers to do it during her morning B.M.
If she doesn’t pull it by ten a.m., they “send a little colored girl to check on you.”
Oh, old people.
My father’s aunts both live in some care facility that has Not Dead buttons. They’re quite a crowd with their walkers.