brrrrr
I have never before stepped outside my apartment and instantly thought, “I am going to die. This is exactly how I’m going to die. This is how it happens.”
Boston is in the midst of an arctic cold snap. I’m from New Jersey, and therefore well acquainted with cold temperatures, but this is ridiculous. The high temperature should never be a single digit number. Likewise, the low should not be, nay, cannot be zero. Zero is not a number. It is in fact the mathematical abstraction of nothingness, and thus a non-temperature. Of course, the horrific logical alternative is to just skip over zero and head straight for negative degrees. This is another quirky byproduct of temperature scales. Shouldn’t the effects of temperature just wrap around and reverse when you hit subzero measurements, like when Pacman goes past the edge of the screen and pops out on the other side?
To ward off the effects of weather that I’m sure has literally chilled me to the bone I have a new coat. I have dubbed this coat the Portable Hug, for much like a hug, it is warm, protective, instills a sense of well being in the receiver, and asks nothing in return. If only men were more like winter coats.
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