Jon22: The Website of Jonathan Dobres

I promised myself I wouldn’t do too many posts on American Idol, but Chris Daughtry’s surprise elimination last night warrants a post.

If you don’t watch Idol, you might be confused as to why a black wave of misery seems to have settled over the country this morning.  It’s because Chris Daughtry, clear front-runner for season winner and god-king of Sumeria, got the boot last night.

The question on everyone’s minds is, How could this happen?  Well, Taylor and Elliot have long-standing underdog vibes working in their favor.  In the fans’ minds, there’s a need to vote for them and keep them alive.  Katharine, on the other hand, massacred her Elvis performances, and so her fan base voted in force.  This left Chris out in the cold, with everyone assuming that the bald-headed golden boy was safe.

To all the Chris fans out there, just remember that it’s all going to be alright.  Chris is destined for fame.  So stop beating your breasts in anguish and proposing impotent gestures like petitions and Idol boycotts.  Why would you boycott Idol when you could do something much better?  You could focus your rage into a laser that evaporates Katharine McPhee.

Yes, beautiful, talented Katharine.  She’s done wonderfully up until recently, but lately she’s made a habit of botching her songs to a degree that would be unforgivable if she weren’t so beautiful, not to mention psychically linked to her weeping father.  However, the backlash from this week’s elimination will be her undoing.  The legions of despondent Chris fans will rise up to destroy the woman who, by all rights (and by the look of genuine surprise on her own face) should have been eliminated. 

There is literally nothing Katharine can do to stop her inevitable destruction at the hands of a vengeful public, because a performance, no matter how good, can’t reverse the flow of time and bring Chris back.  I’m looking forward to the final showdown between Taylor and Elliott.