Jon22: The Website of Jonathan Dobres

I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned Rapture Ready, a website dedicated to the imminent coming of the Rapture, the Biblical end of the world. Home to its owner’s rantings on the end times, as well as a weekly apocalypse rating dubbed the “Rapture Index,” RR was interesting enough for me to write a paper on it.

It is a sad thing indeed when a man sounds hilarious without intending to do so:

Until the bandwidth of the average web host drastically increases, the difficulty of handling a post-rapture traffic surge is going to be one of my greatest concerns.

So, when God raptures his select few and then proceeds to purge the world, peoples’ first reaction will be to seek out your site? If it were me, I would just piss myself and run around screaming, desperately thrusting my genitals at anything that moved.

He also has a delightfully warped take on Harry Potter:

The Potter books are commonly praised for “capturing the imagination of children everywhere and helping to encourage a love of reading.”…If Rowling had written books on how to be a terrorist, I highly doubt that people would be pleased for youngsters to read them…

…It’s rather obvious that most Christian organizations have shied away from strongly condemning Harry Potter. The books have become so widely ingrained into society that church leaders are reluctant to speak out against Potterism for fear they be labeled as right-wing extremists.

I emphasized the term “Potterism” for no good reason. I just think it’s hilarious. To cap things off, testimony from several children is included. Behold! The Power of Satan!

“I’d like to go to wizard school and learn magic and put spells on people. I’d make up an ugly spell and then it’s pay-back time” (Catherine, age 9).

“I feel like I’m inside Harry’s world. If I went to wizard school I’d study everything: spells, counterspells, and defense against the dark arts” (Carolyn, age 10).

“I liked it when the bad guys killed the unicorn and Voldemort drank its blood” (July, age 13).

Okay, so that last kid might need some professional help, but other than that, I see nothing more than the harmless, healthy fantasies of NINE YEAR OLDS.