Jon22: The Website of Jonathan Dobres

I’ve always been a “dog person” by nature. A dog will snuggle up with you on a cold winter’s night or even give you comfort when you’re feeling down. A cat, on the other hand, does not care whether you live or die. Dogs also have cute wet noses, as opposed to the hard, dry Satan Buttons that adorn the horrific configuration of features that constitute a cat’s “face”.

My childhood pet, Petey, an adorable oversized Poodle, was loyal, obedient, and sometimes really damn smart. He instictively sat atop my mother’s tummy before she even knew she was pregnant with my little brother. The memory of this strange and highly perceptive behavior has always stuck with me. You can imagine how excited I was when I found out that dogs can predict their owners’ seizures. The dogs who were shown to predict seizures did so with a whopping 80% accuracy.

It’s all about perception, baby. If a lower animal like a dog can do it, why can’t we? Well, first off, only 15% of the dogs in the sample could sense oncoming seizures, so it is possible that the ability is rare to begin with, but powerfully accurate when present. Likeise, humans could easily possess similar abilities that remain unused or underdeveloped in most of the population.

Some people call me crazy for talking about stuff like this. It is important to remember that crazy comes in many forms, however. I mean, who would you rather commit—me, the guy who believes in the power of psychic puppies, or the people at Christian Exodus, who plan to stage a mass exodus of Christians into the Eden that is South Carolina. Eden may be a bit of an exaggeration on my part, but I can quote them as referring to it as a “sovereign nation.” CRAZY.