Jon22: The Website of Jonathan Dobres

In my program I study something called psychophysics. It’s a cool-sounding if somewhat baffling term, and for me used to conjure images of the criminally insane on see-saws and rocket ships. Psycho physics, get it? I’m extremely funny. In reality, we call it psychophysics because we are interested in investigating the relationship between the physical properties of a stimulus and the psychological percept those properties create. Psychophysical investigations have helped us design interfaces, learn about the effects of aging, and—I’m not making this up—determine the absolute brightness thresholds of pigeons (which is actually very impressive, given that pigeons are very stupid, can’t talk about their experiences, and certainly have no idea what it is you want them to do).

Psychophysical experiments typically require a small, simple set of responses from participants. Yes/No, First/Second, Left/Right, Brighter/Darker, Pigeon Pecking/Pigeon Not Pecking, that kind of thing. So I’ve always thought it a bit strange that we (meaning my lab) record responses from a full Apple keyboard. If the subject only needs three keys to participate in the experiment, why present him with 109?

About a year ago, I volunteered to participate in an experiment at a lab where they specialize in eye tracking research. I could detail the hellish setup they employed to stabilize participants’ heads—which involved an eye patch, plastic rods, and dental impressions—but I won’t. I think it’s more fun to let you imagine how those three items fit together. Anyway, there I am, feeling like a pirate about to be fitted for braces, when into my hands is thrust a Playstation 2 controller. “What a brilliant idea,” I thought, trying not to drool into my lap.

I’d put the whole experience out of mind until the Mimeo thing got me thinking about video games and controllers. Should I purchase a USB gamepad for use in my experiment rooms? Something like this or this, perhaps? The ergonomic advantages are pretty clear. When you’re trying to confine yourself to a chin rest it’d be a lot easier to hold something in your hand, rather than peck awkwardly at the bottom of the numeric keypad. The reduced set of buttons might even reduce subject errors. Such advantages are well worth considering.

In my search for a good, simple USB controller, it became clear that they come in all shapes and sizes. Some are even made to mimic the peripherals of our youth, and the nostalgia is almost powerful enough to overcome the litany of reviews detailing these products’ shoddy workmanship, unreliable responses, and generally short lifespans (still, this slightly more expensive model looks more promising, and more faithful to the original hardware). The mere sight of those four purple buttons—the exact shape, size, and color of Smarties, I have always believed—is enough to set my brain on edge and fill me with vivid memories of Mortal Kombat and Super Mario Kart. Hours upon hours of them. I can almost feel my fingers reaching out to hit the SNES’s spring-loaded reset button before my Arwing explodes for the millionth time.

As my search for gamepads inevitably branched into unrelated areas (oh, internet), I was surprised to learn that you can actually get a workable NES or SNES on eBay for far less money than you might think. Then again, I think these things are priceless, and it’s downright shocking to see my childhood on sale for $65.82. You’d think that these venerable gaming systems, particularly something as old as the NES, would have begun to appreciate in value. Or at least I would think that. Perhaps normal people do not. In any case, even if I ponied up the piddling amount of cash necessary to buy a SNES, where would I put it? Is it really worth having the thing around? I’m still undecided. Am I genuinely interested in buying such a system, or just eager to distract myself from work? It’s hard for me to disambiguate the signal from the noise on this one.

Maybe I should collect some more data. With a gamepad.