Jon22: The Website of Jonathan Dobres

In an early episode of The Simpsons, Mr. Burns commissions Marge to paint his portrait. At the episode’s end, talking to Marge briefly about her controversial rendition, he says, “You know, I’m no art critic, but I know what I hate. And I don’t hate this.” It is with this philosophy in mind that I will now take a brief look at three albums from American Idol alums, despite my awful, awful taste in music.

Chris Daughtry — Daughtry

Despite his untimely elimination from American Idol, or perhaps because of it, Daughtry has become Season 5’s biggest seller, at two million copies and counting. Clearly, he’s the real winner. Daughtry’s debut album has been compared to Nickelback and Fuel, and just like his self-confessed idols, the album’s got that not-quite-hardcore rock/pop sound to it. To my tin ear, the songs have this weird tendency to sound alike, but they do sound good. Daughtry has managed to produce exactly the kind of mass appeal rocker album that we were all expecting. It’s not particularly unique or inspired, but it’s quite listenable, and you probably won’t regret purchasing it.

Elliott Yamin — Elliott Yamin

I always had a soft spot for Elliott. The Little Diabetic That Could represents the full promise of American Idol, doesn’t he? He had zero professional training, is 90% deaf in one ear, and leaped from behind some pharmacy counter to become a national sensation on shear talent. After getting booted from Idol in the Closest Vote Ever, he went into hiding to get new teeth and new hair, and has emerged a gorgeous, singing butterfly. His album is the most recent post-Idol entry, managing to debut at #3 on the charts despite a much smaller marketing campaign. His album is, in my meaningless opinion, the best of the Idol crop. The tracks, by and large, have a smooth, bluesy pace. Overblown instrumentation, backing vocals, and other tricks of the trade are kept to an impressive minimum, allowing Yamin to show off his tremendous vocal skills. It’s a great album, as Yamin’s voice easily wraps you up in the music. His rendition of “A Song for You” stands out as a good sample, if you’re looking to test the waters.

Incidentally, if Elliott was a part of this year’s Idol crop, he’d unquestionably be Melinda’s only real competition. LaKisha is ridiculously overrated.

Taylor Hicks — Taylor Hicks

Disappointing. As an avowed member of the Soul Patrol, I want so badly to like this album, but I just can’t. I don’t know what it is, exactly, the makes Hicks’s album so impossible to enjoy. Maybe it’s that he’s just not meant for the pop charts (as sales would indicate). This album is like trying to make Justin Timberlake play the banjo. Oddly overproduced, the arrangements do nothing but obscure Hicks’s excellent voice. Just listen to the Muzak-like intro chords on “The Maze.” I wish the producers had taken a page from Yamin’s people and gone with more restrained arrangements. The main problem, I think, is that none of Hicks’s gigantic personality manages to come through on the CD. It’s got no real energy, no spark, and it’s largely forgettable.

The Ladies

I haven’t listened to Katharine McPhee’s own self-titled album. I believe my hatred of her is well documented. I hear she’s doing well, though, and definitely not a Scientologist.

Paris Bennett’s album will be released in May, and what I’ve heard of it so far has me worried. She’s got a rich, unmistakable voice, but it sounds like it’s being funneled into the same I’m-So-Hot Beyonce crap that gets released every other week. One of her singles is called, in fact, “I’m So Hot.” What a waste.