Jon22: The Website of Jonathan Dobres

Guitar Hero II debuted this week, and productivity in our apartment has plummeted to an all time low. The two are related, I assure you. This thrashing sequel to last year’s smash hit does not disappoint. In every conceivable way, GH II maintains or improves on the high mark set by original. The songs are great, and there’s more of them. There’s “Freebird,” which, like a Japanese yakuza, will break your wrists and burn your eyes right out of your head. One of the bonus songs is “Trogdor the Burninator“. A practice mode has been included in this version, no doubt out of a sense of mercy from the developers (see “Freebird”). The game is funnier. Two player mode has been revamped. The animations, characters, and venues have all been redone and greatly improved.

This brings me to the Guitar Hero bass player. He’s one of the stock supporting members of your band, and can always be seen somewhere off to stage left, furiously strumming away on the bass. In the original game, he had just one animation. No one knows anything about him. I’m not even sure he has a name, and yet he is by far my favorite character. Why? Because he loves his job, that’s why. You can totally tell. Maybe it’s all the hair, but he looks utterly absorbed in the music. Unlike the main characters, there’s no fancy showboating. He’s all about the sound, man. And unlike the robotic drummer or the glassy-eyed lead singers, he’s totally alive with the rock, his whole body blasting out every note like his life depends on it.

So here’s to you, anonymous bass player. Judy Nails and Axel Steel may get the glory on the cover, but you’re the soul of the operation. Keep on bringing the pure rock fury.