the vibrating lie
If family history is any guide I will be carded until I’m in my late 30s. In most respects I could probably still pass for a high school student, except for the permanent stubble on my face, which even immediately after a shave gives my skin a characteristic smokey blue tint. My facial hair is composed of thick, fast growing follicles, and shaving them every other day is a pain. I’d let it grow out a bit and try for the sexy stubble look, except that there isn’t quite enough of it go around. What my hair has in toughness and tenacity, it lacks in area and coverage. I’ll get there eventually, I’m sure, but for now I look best freshly shaved.
I’ve got the morning shave tackled…almost. There’s this patch of hair on my neck that I can never get a close shave on. To make matters worse, I always, always get razor burn in these areas. I’ve tried a number of different manual razors, the latest one being the Gillette Mach 3 Power. It’s the one with a small battery inside that makes it vibrate in a sick parody of an electric razor. I was skeptical of the over the top marketing, but my friend, Nick, had one shave with it and ran into the room we shared at the time screaming, “Feel my face! FEEL MY FACE!” So a few months ago I decided to give it a shot. I should have known better than to trust a razor that decorates itself in ominous green stripes and feels the need to advertise itself with a mysterious glowing car.
To be fair, the first shave was pretty impressive, the numbness from the vibration aside. It even almost got my neck completely smooth, which is cause for a national holiday. It was all downhill from there, though. The razor stopped making my face feel numb after a few shaves, which means I either got used to it or the thing started running out of juice fast. I’m betting on the latter. I also noticed that the little lubricant strip (which Gillette chose to make orange because despite it being reminiscent of rust, orange is EXTREME) wore out unusually quickly, along with the blade, which I swear is designed to dull in fast-forward. I figured it had something to do with the unorthodox vibrating nature of the razor, and when the vibration stopped making a difference in my shave I turned it off. That’s when I realized that Mach 3 Power blades suck. Let me emphasize that. They suck more than a whore. More than a vacuum. More than a whore at vacuum camp. Regardless of whether you use the EXTREME vibrating feature, the lubrication strip and the blade itself will wear out in three, maybe four shaves, tops.
I have been using Gillette products for four years, ever since Gillette mysteriously mailed me a package containing a free razor on account of my eighteenth birthday. I have no idea how they obtained my address or knew it was my birthday, and in retrospect, I’m a little terrified. Suffice to say I’ve tried many Gillette razors, usually because I’m looking for something better, not because I want to stop using something that is actively horrible.
I’m back to using a standard Mach 3 now, and I’ve also discovered American Crew shave cream. An order of magnitude beyond the usual foams and gels, this stuff has definitely improved my shave. I no longer nick myself in that one spot above my lip where I always used to nick myself, and in general shaving is easier. I still have massive razor burn problems on the neck, though, and I’m researching ways to make it go away.
Maybe I should just go electric. Legitimate electric, not this AAA battery powered Gillette facial assault. Thoughts? Advice? Snide remarks? Please, leave a comment.
I have very similar problems, from the lack of coverage, to the neck issues with razor burn and inability to get the surface smooth. I’ve had a Mach 3 for at least 4 years, but decided to try one of those Norelco wet/dry things that squirts lotion. A real razor shaves closer… I only have to shave every other day with a real razor. I have to shave every day if I use the Norelco, and while it does an acceptable job of leaving my face smooth, my neck definitely feels like coarse sandpaper… but there’s no razor burn. When it comes in really handy is when I don’t get up until I have no time to do anything but shower (which is often), and then I can just incorporate it into my shower routine since it’s cordless. I had tried a Remington way back in high school, but the facial hair was a lot thinner then, so my experience with it probably doesn’t apply anymore. It would get awfully hot though.
I actually grew up not knowing how to shave with a straight razor. If you’re switching, though, I get pretty good results with Norelco also. I’d agree that it’s good on the face but not so good on the neck. The cordless aspect is the best part, because (for me) I can defer the shave until I’m driving to work. It’s easy to do one-handed and it doesn’t require much concentration. They do have waterproof models also.
Supposedly you’re supposed to replace the blades fairly often, but my hair’s pretty thin and I’ve literally gone for two years on a single pair of blades without any problems. If you get a cheap model, though, replacement blades will likely cost just as much as the razor itself.
Be aware that you can actually, cut yourself with electric razors, but it’s a twice-a-year-at-most thing.
Electric razor? BLASPHEMY. Been there, done that, leaves you stubbly. My recipe: shower, make sure to washcloth or loofah your face (raises the hairs), and then when you shave apply a layer of any kind of lotion (you know, the kind you pump out of one of those soap-dispenser-looking-thingies). After applying lotion (which creates a thin, slippery film), put on the shaving cream, and then GO AT IT like an Olympic ice-skater. It truly is that easy.
(If this works for you, Jon, that’s Item #3958 on the “Ways Rowan Has Improved My Life” list.)
1. go to allaboutshaving.com
2. try The Total Shaving Solution and cryogenically tempered Mach3.
3. Shave in the shower
4. Optional: Fog Free Mirror
5. Result – no more razor burn, blades that last a month and a great shave.
Dan