Jon22: The Website of Jonathan Dobres

I really enjoyed this year’s Oscars. There were no huge upsets (okay, maybe Alan Arkin for Best Supporting Actor), no robberies, no monolithic movie domination, and no travesties of judgment, but it was all very enjoyable nevertheless.

First, Ellen DeGeneres did a fantastic job as host. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jon Stewart, but there was something odd about him last year. He’s incisive and sharp, and felt out of place on the West coast. Ellen, on the other hand, hosts the Oscars with warmth and empathic humor.  You could almost picture yourself up there in her place.  Okay, maybe just me. Regardless, Ellen really gets that she’s there for the home audience.  Who wouldn’t want to have Speilberg take your picture with Eastwood if you had the chance?  Vacuuming the front row near the end of the show, she said, “Sorry about this, Penelope, could you just…umm…could you…that is a really huge dress.” It’s funny because Penelope Cruz was wearing a really huge dress.

Al Gore gave an Oscar acceptance speech. This is one of those sentences that I thought I’d only write if I lived in a parallel universe. But there you go. Al Gore. Holding an Oscar statue. I’d vote for him if he ran. Really.

Speaking of An Inconvenient Truth (which is excellent and you should all watch), Melissa Etheridge’s win officially makes the 79^th Academy Awards the first to feature a lesbian kiss. Awesome. Best Original Song is now officially cemented as the Most Unique Thing award, as that Oscar always seems to go to the most unique nominee in the group.  Next year I plan to write a song on kazoo about illegal whaling.  It’ll play over the opening credits of a Pol Pot biopic.  I’m a lock already.

The most awkward moment of the night came from Ennio Morricone, who has composed the scores of over 400 films, as he accepted a lifetime achievement award.  He delivered his speech entirely in Italian, hastily translated by Clint Eastwood.  That’s another parallel universe sentence right there.

Jack Nicholson, with his head shaved for a movie he’s currently filming, looks strikingly like Darth Vader without the mask.  The resemblance is uncanny and profoundly appropriate.

It was a big night for The Departed, with Scorsese finally picking up an Oscar for Best Director.  As Dave said, “Scorsese directing Jack Nicholson must have been like a mountain directing a thunderstorm.”  Pretty accurate description, I think.

What else can I remember from last night?  I forget who presented it or what the award was for, but the first presenter of the night opened the envelope and said, “And the winner is…,” which is a huge faux pas.  The Academy changed the official phrase to “And the Oscar goes to…” years ago to try to take some of the winner/loser vibe out of the awards.  Boourns.

In conclusion, I want to see Ellen host again and I need to practice my kazoo.